Man you are one tough lady! You love your man no matter what! I think it is a good idea to leave when he is in a rage, it gives you both space to step back and breathe. My therapist once told me, and looking back I agree, there comes a time when you just can't stuff it anymore or it will become a health problem (ulcers, migraines, etc...). His monsters will not go away unless he does talk about them which is the LAST thing he will want to do. I would look for a therapist (psychologist) who has experience with PTSD and will work WITH your husband with CBT. The most important part is to relieve his symptoms! The nightmares, misdirected anger, his loss of sleep. Ultimately the loss of sleep and his inability to climb out of this hole will lead to depression. I respect his terror of therapy and medications. The key is he needs to go into the process with the controls he needs. The promise of no medications unless he totally agrees (the psychologist can not prescribe meds) and possibly a limit of sessions agreed upon going in that he will committ to regardless of outcome and have the option of stopping or continuing at that point. It's a compromise - say he will go to 6 sessions and then if no harm in process or no affect on his work or home life he will continue - again his control. This will take doing some research on your part and possibly pre-interviewing the therapist by personally seeing him to assess his style and get the guarentee's for your husband up front. Then it is in his ball park. Your husband will never pursue it on his own nor look for the proper therapist for him. He'll probably do it to get it out of the way and off his back, but not for the relief because he probably doesn't believe it will ever help.

This is really tough! I can't think of any other way. There is also a PTSD workbook that you could purchase but unless being monitored by someone I'm afraid there could be too many triggers without support and all hell could break loose. Let him read these posts. It will only show how much you love him and are worried about him and trying to help him. You two can do this together but in order for him to benefit from your strength he is going to have to give a little. THIS IS A VERY HARD STEP FOR HIM!

I want to share with you an experience I had. My daughter lost her father suddenly when she was 16. They were close. All her anger at her loss was directed on me in rages. She was like a spewing volcano. I did not take this well since I have PTSD. I personallized everything and was destroyed for several years. We lost our relationship over the next two years and I had to kick her out of our home. She is now 22 and we have retrieved our relationship but I will never trust her again. Sometimes I walk on eggshells around her. I don't know if your husband is sensitive but if he is this may be even harder for him.

Keep in touch. May God be with you two. Good Luck with whatever you choose to do. .