Hi linasmom....this is something I have dealt with for years. I think you are VERY lucky to have such a caring and compassionate man. My first husband just took what he wanted....at the time i thought It was my "duty"so to speak and I beleive he thought the shaking was a good thing...he does not know how to read people at all ( I was very young and I beleive now that he has aspergers sydrome like my son but he never had the proper treatment. My second husband was very understanding and i even enjoyed intimacy and sexual relations for the first time, I didn't even know it could feel good, unfortunately he had an anger problem.....it was the sex that kept us together, go figure.

Then when i was in my last long term relationship that was when my PTSD was raging and I was falling apart and didn't know why until I received the proper treatment. With him.....he did not understand...not at all..he could not understand why I didn't want to be with him (and he wanted to be intimate 3 or more times per day.....not great for me at the time because that was when my flashbacks and nightmares were uncontrolled. He broke up with me saying " What do you want me to do wait until my dick falls off...sorry to be so blunt but those were his exact words.

Even when I tried to date last year...I had to force myself and talk myself into it like...this is normal, no one is going to hurt me I am in control. I tried really hard. He ended it with "you are not ready to date"...because I imagine it was hard for him to see me go into panick mode when he had done nothing wrong and did his best to make me feel comfortable.

I think I would like to find a man with a minimal sex drive but i don't think there are men out there like that. You are definately not alone in having such a low sex drive...I have none right now and therefore I beleive i will be alone for the rest of my days at least that is how it feels right now. Kind of makes me feel less than human and very broken. I am sure there are understanding men out there but I have yet to find one, Unfortunately lately picking anyone, man or woman just even for friends is proving to be just disaster after disaster. Sad but true. As you can tell i am having a bad poor me day.


You should consider yourself lucky your husband sounds like a keeper. I have read about the khama sutra (not sure if that is spelled right) but it is away to re-connect with your partner and it helps with communicating all the feelings your body is feeling. There is also a new drug...I think it is called levitra and it is kind of like viagra for women. I am not really researched this i have only heard about it...maybe this would help. Does your husband have a brother...haha. I wish you only the best and it sounds like you have great communication so I beleive this is something that you will be able to overcome, especially when there are two people willing to try. Take Care.





I am happy for you that your husband is understanding