Thanks to Spirit, Jet, Shoshin..........all who wanted me back.

I realize I did an 'all-or-nothing' thing. Got very scared.

Today? Huh, It's 8:40 am. I need to leave for work at the Nursery in a half an hour. Taking a shower has wiped me out.........the Chronic Fatigue again. supposed to try and make 8 hours today. Trying to rest right now, gain some energy.

Only working 2-3 days a week. Savings are depleting. Don't want to turn on the heat, can't afford. SSD hearing on April 18th............huh, dreading it really, fighting with them for 12 years. I'm not a loser.........I'm sick, I have a disability. I want to work! But they don't treat you like that.

Anyway, the sun is out here today! Such a rare occurance. I think I will focus on that and focus on enjoying my day, pacing myself, and knowing that God will take care of me.............

I'm going to go to a Working Women's Meetup here in town next wednesday. REally just to make friends, experiment with boundaries, establish some contacts, do something normal............I think it's a good move. Trying to make some positives here.
Also want to do some volunteer work at the ole folks home, sit and talk with them, play games, give and recieve some light and good. I know God has a purpose for me, would like to be a field biologist.........but that may still come. The past will not haunt me forever...........yes, I have the physical effects, but I can put that into perspective and just deal.

HOpe everyone is planning a wonderful Easter! The Resurrection! New Birth! A New Start! Fertility! Bunnies Everywhere! :hello: