Ditto the thanks Bailey.

I haven't really worked for quite a while, and I don't seem to be too concerned about it. Once in a while my sister will forward me something about a job opportunity and that let's me know that she thinks it might be good for me to have a job. Which it would, in some ways. I tend towards extreme isolation, so getting out to work can help counter that. I seem resigned to a state of poverty, which in itself does not seem healthy.

I have also struggled most of my life with depression. When not at clinical levels, I seldom get above what they call dysthymia. I am currently on what I consider to be an effective medication, one which allows me to move and think at normal speeds, and which has no discernible side effects and which reduces suicidal ideation to just that, something I think about when I am really hurting, not something I actually want to do. But reading of your experience, Bailey, I wonder if there is more help to be had. I remember telling someone just a week or so ago, that I seem to have little or no capacity for enjoyment, let alone actual joy.

It is so hard always to tell what is what. Depression is so insidious the way it can creep back in, or even pass itself off as normal, when one has all but forgotten what 'alive' feels like.

Anyhow, I'm not the type to go running after pills to fix things, but there is definitely something here to ponder.