Because I was not allowed to show emotions therefore permanently numb for most of my life until probably 3-4 yrs ago I know the outcome.

Internallized Anger = DEPRESSION

Try to express it someway; writing, physical exercise, sharing with a friend or therapist, 'pillow fight', ....

I usually know I am angry when - I can't eat, sleep, have a migraine, upset stomach, shaking my leg -

Internallized Anger = PHYSICAL AILMENTS

I've experienced all scales and levels of this spectrum.