Quote:
Originally Posted by samsara  Given the above information, and his condition, would it be sound/fair advice to advise him to get "on" the wagon for the next 8 weeks?
Would it be sound/fair advice, that given he MUST save this money in order to be in a situation where he can get treatment as it costs MONEY to tell him to stop drinking?
Anyway, all I am asking is, and please give me your opinion not what you THINK you should morally say, or whatever, as a sufferer.
I would like to know, (particularly from sufferers who have battled with self medication using booze) if you think that given the above situation, I should leave him to do what he's always done for anther 8 weeks. IE: treat the symptoms (not ideal, but possibly the most realistic) or should I be encouraging him to go clean as of now?
A large percentage of his future happiness (and mine) is really hanging on the money he makes in the next 8 weeks.
I'm after advice based your own experience here, not what you think you "should" say. |
Hi Samsara,
I will write here what I know based on my own experience as a recovering alcoholic (not saying that label applies to your partner, necessarily) and as a family member of other alcoholics.
First thing I now is that telling another adult what to do, especially in an area such as this is usually a waste of time and likely to provoke resentment and no results.
That said, you are always well within your rights to voice your own concerns and feelings. You can do this without saying what he needs to do.
Given the financial pressure I must say this sounds like a pretty loaded situation. I hope you are prepared to look after yourself
first.
It is very common for partners of people with drinking problems to spend all of their time and energy trying to strategize how to deal with the other person's drinking, when in fact it is only the drinker who can do anything about it. From the sound of it, I get that you my be caught in this, spending a lot of energy trying to figure out what to do about something over which you actually have no control.
Again, not wanting to suggest what level of problem you are looking at, but you might want to consult some literature on co-dependence, or even attend an al-anon meeting and ask a few questions. (The latter is a hard thing to do though, even for someone like myself, who lives on both sides of this issue!)
I guess I would also say that 8 weeks is not time enough to do much of anything about a situation like this. Recovery takes time, and yes, depending on the level of his dependency, medical supervision of withdrawal can be an absolute necessity, not to mention a great mercy.
And finally, none of this is a moral issue. Any addiction is based in the body, mind and spirit of the sufferer, not in any kind of weakness or character flaw.
I hope something here may help, keep asking questions!
DLRoss