I love to make the holidays fun for my kids, but for they suck. No matter how much effort I put into being happy and trying to make everything perfect for my kids; they have always been a source of stress and anxiety.

I am disconnected from my family and my husband's family is deceased. It is a time that I feel alone when so many others have parents and grandparents.

It is awful that I feel horribly jealous of my friends, but that is not the only problem. Growing up our holidays were not really joyous.

I feel so disconnected. anybody else?