I've spent 25 years walking alone doing holidays, pretty much in deep depression constantly, not even a call from anyone.
Then, I decided to trust a few people for a couple of years. They pretty muched trashed me.
Now it's Easter, me and my cat, got some birdseed at the store. I sort of feel like I'm just waiting to die really. Just waiting out all the long lonely hours...............

It's always been this way, until I trust someone, then I have to do through all the mourning all over again. Not worth it anymore. I really am just waiting............