Y&A, I am fighting the same battle you are right now. I have been smoking since I was 12 and it has always been the only thing that made me feel "normal". The big problem is that if I ever get busted, I could loose my whole carreer. So, I have been trying to work a 12 step program, but have had little faith in those programs. I want to be clean, but I also don't like to feel crazy all the time, so I still smoke.
I have a good friend who I work with and is a recovering addict and he is very encouraging. He always knows if I've been trying to get clean, and fail. It helps to have someone you are held accountable to.
I still want to get high, though.:smoking: :naughty: