I finally discussed this issue with my therapist before Christmas last year; and I chose a new strategy dealing with holidays. I agree with everyone in that I feel like an island during a major 'family' holiday. For me, it was determined that all the horrible things happened to me during those times; my mom always made a big deal of Christmas, Easter, etc., but then if I received anything, the underlying messages were that I didn't really 'deserve' to have fun, presents, etc. It always killed the day.

I am lucky in that I raised my kids and forced my way through each holiday, hiding (I thought) my depression and the sick hollow feeling inside. Now that I am completely cut off from my family, I choose to non-celebrate. My kids are grown and I've tried to explain why I feel like I do; they're good kids and they try to understand.

I told them I wouldn't 'celebrate' Christmas, and I didn't. Instead, (although I objected) my oldest son and his wife bought stocking things and a present for everyone and we still had a mini celebration, low key and more fun and focused on things like watching old movies and taking walks.
This Easter, I made reservations for my husband and I (who is a wonderful spouse and supportive of me in every way, so I am fortunate) and we went to the beach. No eggs, no chocolate, no bunnies, no false frivolity. I am more relaxed than I've ever been

We all have to decide what is important to our health and recovery and balance that with what our immediate family/friends can tolerate, I guess. That's my view, anyway.