I figure that most of you here have had wayyy more experience with therapists and doctors than I have. So I am wondering, how did you get started? How did you first make yourself walk out that door and into someone's office? And once you got that far how did you start talking about it?

One of the main reasons I am here is because I have been told by more than one person that I seem like I have PTSD and the more I read on it, the more it makes sense. So after 10 years of hating myself for not being able to get over certain things, resenting my parents for not helping me and not letting me talk about it, hiding everything, and occasional invasive bursts of anger I can't help I have decided that I am sick of struggling with it alone and I want to talk to someone about it.

I have a therapist I am seeing for some stress issues and I have tried to bring this up before but somehow I always manage to do it at the end of the session, start crying, can't even get the words out, and feel like an idiot. He gently starts asking questions that I figure are leading to me talking about things but I'd always just shut down the second he hit too close to home. I've grown up with the idea that one should never let themselves get emotional in front of people who are not immediate family so its EMBARRASSING!

Well today I have decided that I want to actually talk about it with him and start finding out what is really wrong, see if he can help me with it, and if not seeing if he can tell me HOW to go about finding someone who can help. Seems crazy after 10 dang years but I'm afraid I'll just sit there unable to speak, unable to say certain words, until I just give up. How do you get the words out?