If I am really, REALLY scared (maybe something like when I first latch onto a trigger) the tears just come out silently. I'm afraid that if I open my mouth, I will start screaming, and once I start screaming, its hard to stop.

If my husband catches on and talks to me gently and holds me, I start just crying uncontrollably, and sometimes it can get kind of loud.

The most embarrassing thing... once I was in one of those states and crying so hard that the neighbors (apartment building) called the cops because they thought my husband had hurt me! He came out of the shower to find a cop standing there with his gun drawn and when I followed I heard the cop yell at me to get out there and when I explained what had happened the cop didn't even seem to know what PTSD was! He asked if I could tell him about it or if it was too personal... and I had to repeat "PTSD" to him like three times so he could write it down. SOOOO VERYYYY EMBARRASSING. I was depressed about that for days. :(