Thank you Nicolette. I appreciate your words and kind response.

Loving someone with ptsd is hard and is painful. I think about that a lot! Would it be more painful to never see him again and not have him in my life? I can handle almost anything life throws at me because I truly believe that I am never alone. I believe in a higher power and I am very spiritual. The one thing that is soooooo hard is the shutting out. I am, by nature, a person who wants to help others. It is really hard for me to not be allowed to help. It makes me feel good to help. It doesn't deplete me, it fills me up. He is not allowing me to help (or anyone to help him for that matter).

I guess for now I will work on my letter, without sending it. Get my feelings out on paper and see where that goes. You are right though....whatever I decide I am going to have to live with. I just need to be really sure about my decision so I can live with it.

Thanks!
Sisu