I'm not so sure what a healthy relationship is either... I'm not sure I've ever been in one! But all I can do at this point is my best. Sometimes I feel like I rely on my husband too much... I'd known him for about three years before I could admit that I was in love with him and once that happened all my fears kind of just blew up in his face. Up until then he'd always maintained that he would stick by my side forever no matter what. I told him that being with me wasn't going to be easy... that I should come with a huge disclaimer stamped on my forehead... and after seeing me at my worst he still insisted that we would work at things together. He told me that even knowing my worst he still made that choice to stay with me and that because he made that choice that's why I don't need to run away or worry that I am too much (I trust him to tell me when I become too much).

So I guess the thing to ask yourself is why does this person do so much for you, is it for the right reasons, and does that person feel like its their choice or an obligation? From what you write, it seems like a choice and if that's the case I would say to trust him but ALSO work as hard as you can to get yourself better so that all the energy he put into helping you seems like it did some good. I know that a big frustration for my husband is thinking that none of his efforts have helped me. I assure him as often as I can that even if it doesn't seem like it, he's made a HUGE difference in my thinking.

If you are not more than friends and he wants that and you do not... that could become another complex issue so it might be good to make sure you are both aware of where you stand on that one.

I also agree with Seeking_Nirvana and Nicolette; find your reasons for things and cherish what you have right now. :)