TLight,

My sincerest wish for you is peace, in whatever form that will take for you, and I hope there is a way for you to find it even as things turn upside down. Your last few comments sound like on one level you may feel a sense of relief, a desire for release, a readiness to move on. If you do head for the mountains, you might ask around for some book titles about the spiritual stages of what is next.

I have no idea what your spiritual leanings are, but there are some interesting books out there (in many traditions). As a Buddhist, I find the Tibetan teachings on making the transition to be very encouraging and peace-instilling. A very condensed version of their teachings can be found in one of the chapters of the Dalai Lama's book How to Practice, but there are other, better titles I am sure.

This next phase will offer you the opportunity for profound realizations. I offer you my prayers and thoughts on your journey. Your presence on this forum has touched my life, and you will be on my mind.

Peace,
Shoshin