neverforget
I sought help when I was out of control and couldn't stand myself anymore. I usually have waited till, I felt, I'm on the brink of snapping. I went about 2 years recently of not seeing my T thinking I didn't need anymore help that I was in control even going off my meds. Well, I wasn't in control, I cried for months, walked around in a daze for months, argued beyond what I should have with people. I couldn't function anymore. I would think about making an appointment than maybe have a good day than I would fool myself into thinking I'm in control again. I finally gave in and made the calls necessary. I was afraid of my thoughts and thinking of how I didn't care about myself or much of nothing. I had to remind myself that my grandson would miss me terribly and my dog. My husband would but men always seem to find a replacement sooner than a woman does. I scared myself this last time. I blamed my dissociativeness and PTSD on pain. Pain is not the formost on my mind any longerand I realize it was my mental problems not the pain of alot of the things I thought of and did. I felt different than most other people but now I now why. This forum has helped me identify with some of my actions.
sunnydaze