The quote below is from a post in Introductions where there is discussion about boyfriends/partners with PTSD not being available. It seems to be a common theme.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueeyedgirl  I, too, have questioned why I am attracted to persons who are damaged, and have yet to figure it out. But, the first step is to start looking out for yourself. |
Daringly I suggest the following points:
- I wonder if the "attraction" is more of a "compassion" due to understanding? The more I read here the more I see "Carers" divulge that they themselves have suffered some types of abuse.
- Is it easier to focus our energy on "helping" someone else as that provides an excuse not to look within?
- Do "Carers" expect more of themselves that what they do of the people in their lives? I ask this as so often I read the excuses made for the bad behaviour of the other person involved with the Carer.
- There is a difference between being ill and mistreating people. I wonder if some cloud this boundary and allow "bad" behaviour as being symptomatic of being ill with PTSD rather than expecting a minimum level of common decency? PTSD is not an excuse to totally ignore you.
- Should a person with PTSD have a responsibility to a relationship just as much as the "well" person? By saying this I mean why is their behaviour more excusable as I am certain if the shoe was on the other foot the PTSD suffer would not want to be in a relationship with someone who is not available.
- Do some of us need to go back and revisit the "definition" of a relationship as alot of what is written by Carers of late says to me the scales are tipped very unequally?