If you had to describe my early marriage this was it. I stayed, not realizing it was abuse, I knew no different. It got worse. At the end, he controlled all money, all interaction with friends, physically hit me and threatened me, and had 3 affairs one with an STD. Ofcourse, the affairs were my fault because I wasn't adequate - according to him.

Everything you mentioned was there and progressed to life threatening by the time I was willing to leave, what appeared to be, the perfect marriage.