Nic

Understand the need to work and keep your life together. I was blessed beyond belief throughout my entire episode and breakdown. Mother was there to help.

I applied for disability and was lucky to receive it. But existing while I waited was a horror I would wish on no one! I always felt like I was about two days away from a cardboard box under a bridge.

As you may or may not know, I remember -ZERO- of my trauma. I have no clue what put me into this mess. Throughout the therapy I was getting, my T. took me to many unrelated issues, I thought, that I really did not want to visit. I guess my desire to be able to function was stronger than my fear---at the point!

I have no idea what I would do now if I had to return to work. I physically could not do it. My agoraphobia sends my body into a sick tail spin that does not ease until I know for positive that I will not have to leave the house. I physically can't leave the house. I won't go into graphic detail but believe me when I say going outside is not an option for me unless I am completely ready, medicated and the need is greater than the fear.

But I am rambling now, sorry. I tend to do that some times. It is the isolation.