[quote=Grama-Herc;64580]You could not have explained my life any better. It is as if you were sitting on my shoulder for the past 11 years.

I make plans. I want to go places and do things. But when the time nears, there is no physical way I can go. The panic and anxiety that steps in and stops me dead in my tracks is so intense

I do not understand this at all! Do You? The invented reason. That is what eventually cost me my job. I simply could not keep track of those "invented reasons" why I was unable to go to work. They fired me. I certainly don't blame them. I had gotten to the point that I could not show up any more. [quote=Grama-Herc;64580]



I don't understand it, either. And it seems to be increasing. I need to talk to my T, because it's turning me into a hermit. I was fired for the first time in my life a couple of years ago, and I've not been in a hurry to go back to work. I changed careers, and went to work for a while, then I had to have surgery, and I could probably work now, but I'm choosing to pursue school fulltime instead. I can handle being in class for a few hours a day, but I look forward to being home ASAP. I have four animals, and while at home, I joke with my husband that I must be the 'Pied Piper' of the house, because everywhere I go, they follow me. Even the cats. I get up and go to the kitchen, they're all underfoot. (The cat swipes at the little dog, it makes me laugh). I go back to 'my room' where I have TV, computer, phone, everything I need, they all follow and the dogs lay on the floor next to the bed and the cat tries to lay ON me. I guess the point of this is that I get comfort from them more than any human in my life (except my hubby of course). So staying home is really preferable for me. That's probably bad.
The weird thing is, I'm good at my new profession (Nursing) and I love it. But I get increasingly anxious about meeting and greeting socially. I guess I'm good at nursing because people appreciate me, and I'm gentle with them.
Grandma Herc, I DO understand how you feel. Thank you for sharing your feelings with me.