I am trying to breathe.......

I just went to clean the school hampster cage so my son can take it in clean and BOTH HAMPSTERS ARE DEAD!!!!!....Geez.....he is going to be so upset. His hampster is still alive but in another cage. OK....we have been through dead hampsters before but right now?????

Shit! I just know how upset this is going to make an already on edge little boy.....this is the straw, now I am crying. Last time..we have had two die and I am going to gross out everyone reading this. I actually had dead hampsters in my freezer (wrapped up secure) but he would NOT let me get rid of them (kids with aspergers/autism) already have a hard time dealing with change. I finally told him that i took them to the cemetary and buried them over my Dad and that they were safe and with their "grandfather" he just mentioned it like one day last week when we could see the ground now...snow melting and was demanding that i go and dig them backup. UUUGGGHHHH Geez!!!!! NOW!!!!!! I know it doesn't sound like a great big deal but when you rely heavily on your pets as my son talks to his hampsters and the cats...i always tell him...they love you best because my cats love him they have taught him to be gentle and they calm him. On the new game he started today he listed his family as...he and I and then his pets and he said they were the most important thing to him.

And I have to tell the teacher that they died....i just called the cab and the school....morning is just not going to happen......as soon as he finds out...UUUGGGHHH...I can picture his poor little tears and then he is going to freak right out because the cage should have probably been changed...they are also almost two though but he is going to have a rough time. What a day or a way to start this week. Well...it has to go up from here, it is going to be a very long day and still can't shut my brain off long enough to rest...I feel sick.