Emylou,
I am so very glad that you have found the courage to share your feelings about this situation with us. I understand all too well what you are going through. I know what it is like to take such good care of someone because they need you too. I know what it is like to feel as if you are responsible for how they feel and if they eat or not. And please, please know that it is not easy nor is it healthy for you. I lived that lifestyle from the time that I was seven until I left home at 18 taking care of my paranoid schizophrenic mother. It was up to me to take care of her and it was expected of me by her family. Really ridiculous to expect a seven year old child to take care of her mother by herself like that...to make her responsible even for her eating. What I am trying to say is that it is not fair to you Emylou, not in the least. I wish that I could say something to you to make it all better for you. I wish that I could say something emphatic to comfort you but I don't know what to say. I hope that you continue to talk and share with us. And know that there are kind ears out here listening to you....
I would like to share with you also something that helped me in dealing with my mom. There is an organization out there for family and friends of mentall ill people. It is called Alliance for the Mentally Ill. This organization meets monthly and sometimes more frequently so that familes and friends of mentally ill people can find support and understanding for what they have to deal with. They are all over the country and are filled with good understanding people. This is just a thought....
Most of all please continue to feel comfortable sharing here....we really do understand Emylou. And we are here to support you. *hugs*