i think the title to my response says it all
i thought i had being doing ok with caring for him and his condition but from reading the responses so far im not !
Nicolette - your comment about him controlling the relationship through the illness was pretty much spot on.its something that im always being reminded of, the upshot being i try even harder to do everything and eliminate all areas of stress (and the i screw up)
Cowgirl - your comment about me maybe being too nurturing was again spot on.the trouble is ive done this for 10 years and dont really know any different.dont know if im being overly optimistic but maybe once therapy starts (if i can get him down that path - been a struggle so far) the situation will change slightly for the better.
i took your advice and went out for the day today - it was nice to get away albeit for a few hours - nothing changed here but i feel slightly more refreshed.
rainbogrl - i read replies like yours and end up feeling awful because my situation is nothing compared to what you went through.tham you for the organization tip (is that in uk - not sure where you are posting from)
thank you all so much for the comments so far - i dont want to come onto this forum sounding like a moaning minnie - its just such a relief for me to see that i dont have to handle this any more on my own and that there are so many people who are willing to listen and, the main thing, offer sound advice
this really is the first time i have spoken to anybody about my life at home
thank you.xxxxxx