Quote:
Originally Posted by BSBD  Okay, yeah, exactly, but if the PTSD isn't resolved or at least dealt with, I WILL use again. I've been through this too many times to have any different thoughts about it. Their issue is that as long as I have addiction issues, then the PTSD can't be dealt with. It's a maddening cycle. |
Hi BSBD,
I too have a history of substance abuse, and depression and also PTSD. In a couple of weeks I will reach two years 'clean'. I relapsed two and a half years ago, after twenty years of 'recovery'.
It is indeed the case that because in all those twenty years I never properly dealt with the underlying issues, that even after so long, relapse was almost inevitable, and it was devastating and took me to places I hope never to revisit.
That said, however, it is my experience that to delve to deeply into heavy duty emotional stuff before having established a stable pattern of sobriety, including beginning to learn some healthier coping mechanisms, and also developing a good support system of professionals and friends / family, is a recipe for relapse every time. I have seen this not only in myself, but in the many, many other recovering people I have encountered. I spent a year in a recovery home, with 24/7 support and it was only towards the end of that year that I was actually ready to get into things more deeply. I have been out on my own for 10 months now, and still feel I am just getting started.
I also first reverted to cutting and then a previous eating disorder resurfaced...
only now,
two years into a renewed recovery I am choosing healthier options with greater consistency, but then again, I started smoking again occasionally. All that to say that it is hard, hard work to actually turn and face the real issues. Work that cannot be rushed, and which requires a lot of help from others.
So...patience, my friend...a clear head is the way to begin. The rest will come in time if you persist.
My heart is with you.