Emylou, I think the bottom line here is to take care of yourself and not let his PTSD be an excuse to make you bend to his every whim. I may not know what I'm talking about, but saying things like "see what stress does to me, see what you've done, you should know..." almost sounds abusive to me. You've done nothing but normal things and you seem terrified to even make a sound. You shouldn't have to creep around your own house. Having PTSD isn't an excuse to play the victim and in turn victimize everyone else around you.

If I was in your position I would push for him getting help and if he wouldn't I'd walk away until he did (yeah, I'm a meanie butt). But you've got to decide how much you're willing to put up with. Are you happy? Do you want things to change? Do you think he can work on himself too? Does he know the effect he has on you? I think that if he doesn't, he should.

I read somewhere once that someone who cares for someone with PTSD can almost feel like they have it themselves... always being on eggshells and whatnot, scared to set them off, etc... you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else, and don't take blame for things you haven't done wrong.