all of the responses have been so helpful so far - i went to our local library today and did some extra reading (albeit not much available) about ptsd
i have to say i now feel far more confident about talking to him when he comes back to `normality' (?) - im ready to discuss how much isnt my fault and that i understand far more now than i ever did
i have made him an appt to see our local nurse next week (hopefully he will agree to go) and then we can get an appt with the GP.
I hope i havent come across in my postings as being full of self pity - over the last few years between the 2 of us we havent been doing too badly with coping - and, much like manic depression i suppose, when hes ok life is great and i see the man i fell in love with.
He doesnt talk to me in specific details about the ptsd reasons (i only know the basics even after all this time) and thats why i think his standard answer is always `stress'.
I also think that, as ive alredy said, over the past couple of months he has reiniated contact with his sister (hadnt spoken for 15years) and found that she also had been diagnosed with ptsd - but the big issue is still with his parents and subsequent traumas.
thanks again sisters