This is quite a timely post for me.

All my life I've had this bizarre fantasy of a mother figure feeling sorry for me and/or rescuing me. I always wondered what it meant.

Then when PTSD first started to hit almost three years ago now (where has that time gone), this 'fantasy' intensified. I mean it's a daily thing. Now I feel really embarassed posting this but here goes.

I have constantly imagined my therapist, an older friend, my female boss, authority figures hugging me and telling me they are sorry. The fantasy took different forms i.e. I imagined getting injured and people visiting me in hospital, or I'm kidnapped and when released I get sympathy. In the end though the fantasies are all the same. A maternal figure taking sympathy on me.

I did not realise this was related to denial though. I thought I was through with denial. Damn it!

But this past week I've been thinking about the fantasy and how would that help if it did come to reality. If the whole world started feeling sympathy for me would it really help? How much empathy from my therapist would be enough? Then I read some stuff about 'victim mentality' on the net, and I'm starting to realise that no amount of sympathy will ever help. And whilst empathy is a nice support during the 'healing' process it ain't a cure.

I still haven't got my head around why I'm continuing to fantasy about sympathy though. Because it hurts to think about it, so not sure why I'm doing it, it makes me sink further into depression.

Anyway, I'm rambling & sorry Anthony taking your thread off on a tangent about me. But I think it's a valid point about sympathy.

If you find yourself desiring sympathy (like me!) maybe we need to scratch the surface to find out why?