Wow, you have some work to do, She Cat. You are wearing your pain like a badge of honor. In the grand sense of the term, NO ONE can truly understand where another is coming from. We each bring to relationships our own unique perspectives. Some people benefit from discussing these diverse perspectives in order to gain a broader perspective. Clearly, others do not. Those who don't need not read them.

I think if someone shuts out another for months at a time, it may well be that they don't want a relationship right now. I know that my DH went through a stage years ago where he retreated and drove everyone from his life. It took many, many months to re-emerge (over a year), and several more years before he sought out a relationship.

I was not a part of his life then. Had I been, he'd have pushed me far away too, I'm sure. Timing is everything in life. If someone retreats for many weeks, it may well be that they are into a stage of that sort. How long it will last is anyone's guess. It could end next week. It might end a few months from now. It might end in a year, or two.

I guess in a situation where one is completely shut out, one has to eventually let go. When is the big question, isn't it? If only we had crystal balls, to know how long it will be before a person is ready to be in a relationship, wouldn't it be lovely?

Cowgirl