This thread piqued my interest immediately! On the one hand I've also noticed a number of threads where people seemed to be getting into relationships with people who were really unwell and hardly able to care for themselves and it did seem like the "healthy" party wanted to be in the role of someone caring for someone dependent.

On the other, here I am a person with CPTSD dating. I didn't know I had PTSD when we started dating, and things within the relationship triggered it in a way (though looking back it was clear something was wrong before that).

As the "ill" party I've been really conscious of not wanting to get into a relationship where it's him looking after me -hence part of the reason I dislike the 'carer' and 'sufferer terminology.' That's not how I want us to relate, so while I do confide in him I have other sources of support outside of the relationship and am in treatment and try not to let this overwhelm our relationship or who I am within it.

As for him, I hope he was attracted to me because of who I am, that I have redeeming and interesting qualities beyong my health issues and that that's why he has stuck around. He insists this is the case.

For me a key distinction is this: his job is not to look after me or make me better, that's my job, and I want to be able to claim both credit and responsibility for my own recovery. He isn't there to "save" me, and I don't think it would be healthy if he were. He supports me, certainly, but I have to save myself. And I am doing everything I can do so - ie therapy, healthy life style changes, etc.