Nicolette wrote:
"A 'Carer' may need to accept that the 'Sufferer' may not always be available but a 'Sufferer' needs to learn to try and verbalise this somehow so the 'Carer' can understand."

I think this is critical too : I try to do it. I did recently find myself in a situation where I was dissociated and ill and my partner needed support. It can be hard as when I'm ill my communication skills are seriously limited, but it's really important to me that he knows it's not him, it's just I'm ill and can't do it right now. Fortunately these spells of being incommunicado are usually brief, so I can try to explain and be there for him afterwards. It's not ideal though, and suggestions are welcome. I really want to be a good partner, and I don't ever want to use this as an excuse for not being there or treating someone badly.