Ohh very good point dlross! I think that was something I was trying to put across also! I don't think it matter exactly what it is that is going on what matters is if the sufferer or carer KNOWS something is going on that is causing issues yet they do NOTHING.

communication is the key to everything.. no matter if it is something like a shut out or any other action. If say the sufferer KNOWS they are shutting out the carer and KNOWS it is hurting the carer yet does NOTHING not even a message saying they are ok and still love the carer every now and then .. and the carer KNOWS the sufferer KNOWS what they are doing is hurting the carer.. that is where I believe a boundary is crossed over to uncaring and causes action to be taken.

There is a difference to being in total denial of the situation and believing everything will get better if you just wait it out... to thinking you must not let your feelings get hurt when someone is hurting you because they can't help them selfs even when they know they are hurting you.