Unbroken, I have been reading your posts and I can relate to what you are going through. I have been treated for depression and substance abuse following a head trauma in 1991 from a car accident. I am moving along at a steady pace. I still have some issues that need to be worked on and the substance abuse is a life long task. I am 36 and met a girl who is 23 in outpatient therapy who is suffering from ptsd from sexual abuse as a child and a bad divorce when she was young. We started dating and fell in love right away. This was about 6 weeks ago. We were head over heels for each other.

Talking about wanting to be with each other for the rest of our lives.... The whole nine yards. As time went on she gradually started to isolate and eventually never came out of her room. Except for therapy. She has a bad social phobia, nightmares, a mother who is an addict, a step dad that is rude to her, and her father he is ok. Her dads wife used to mentally abuse her as a kid and her step brother sexually abused her. At the time her dad was sick and did not believe what she was saying. She started to have nightmares when she was in college. She lost her libido from the meds, sleeps with headphones on, or with the tv on. Her mood began to change and eventually it was as if she became this little immature girl that just complained about everything I did for her. She stopped showing any signs of affection, except when i would lay with her in bed. She said you make me feel safe. I love laying with you. Now out of no where she says that she does not trust me and sees a shady side of me and does not know if she can be in a relationship or not. At the same time, the day she told me this, she went out after therapy to a surf shop and met up with some old friends for about 3 hours.. What happened to the social phobia??

She said lets not talk for the weekend and monday we will talk and see how she feels about us being together. And all of a sudden she is playing playstation and seems motivated to do stuff outside her room. Not that i am not happy for her, but the timing seems a little strange. I do a lot of research to educate myself on her condition but have not come across anything that would help me understand this one. Was she using me for my company or as a parental figure to get through the beginning of her recovery?? I do not know how to deal with this, and have no idea why she has has had such a sudden change of heart about us being together. She has started a new program that is 5 days a week and taps more into making her talk about her past issues which i know is hard. Could this be why? Could it be because she feels to close to me? She says she wants to be independent and that i have been doing things that are "turnoffs"! Every little thing that i do wrong even if it is something that i did not know to her was wrong she is using as ammunition against me. The age difference also seems to be a big factor now as well, she says she feels very immature around me. She said it felt good to not have to get dressed and look good for me.

I never put any pressure on her to look good. She has gained about 20 lbs from the meds, and it makes her feel horrible even though to me she still looks great. I keep telling her she looks fine but does not believe me. Am i getting in the way of her progressing? And should i let it go? I feel that just from reading this forum that i have more knowledge about a relationship with someone who has ptsd, and i wish i knew some of this earlier. Some of the ways i reacted to her actions where in disbelief that she could have been feeling a certain way. Now i see i was wrong. I am a fighter and strong in dealing with problems which could be good or bad. I need some help. Thank you for your time..