You described to me that you actually are in denial over how much pain you have to endure in order to get better. You said it yourself, you tried CBT / exposure therapy before and it made your symptoms worse. Hello.... what did you expect? Do you honestly expect to just heal your trauma, face your past fears and pain without consequence? This is the typical thinking of people who want something they are not actually and honestly willing to chase. Sorry, but you said it, I am just answering honestly.

What bec said.... your setting yourself up with a timeline. You cannot choose what you work on and for how long, it doesn't work that way.

Here is a hard fact for you Nic.... You must go down before you will come up when facing trauma therapy.

If you think you can resolve your trauma with PTSD and not endure months of serious illness, your just joking yourself and you may as well stop stuffing yourself about now, and likely that of therapists also. They will take your money though, have no doubt.

I think you need to stop here right now Nic, you need to sink your head into the PTSD information forum near the bottom of the homepage, and you need to read some of the threads pertaining to this subject which already exist there. That information hasn't changed, nor have the methods or facts. You need to read what your getting into. You need to read the information in the trauma diaries forum, the three or four threads posted in that forum before entering the specific trauma diary forums, as that contains the facts about healing trauma.

What your asking is not realistic, actually it is totally ridiculous to be perfectly honest. Opening up dealing with trauma is the same as opening Pandoras Box.... you must deal with it all once opened, because your brain WILL NOT give you any other option actually.... it will be taken out of your control with the exception of working through all your lifes trauma.