I would like to thank you all for welcoming me.

I am having a hard day.

I tried for the first time to get my driver's license and I failed. I have a phobia of driving. I was shaking so hard that the examiner felt sorry for me. He encouraged me to try again very soon, so I am. I am not giving up!

I have also been reading through the forum about a concept called "second wounding", which it seems to be synchronicity to me. I am a big time people pleaser and I let people walk on me. Recently I have begun to take a stand in my life with members of my family over what has happened to me because they do not seem to understand what has happened to me, and their part in it, especially my mother. Since I confronted my mother she has moped, tried every way to invoke guilt in me for telling her that she allowed me to be abused and she neglected me. She is a wonderful person, I love her dearly, but it seems she and my sister have both decided I am now the bad guy. Logically I know that it is hard to take someone telling you outright that you failed them, that you hurt them, and that part of the reason why my brain doesn't process stress well is because of this...but I did not know how much I would have valued some validation instead of recrimination, and I feel somewhat victimized all over again. And I feel pretty alone.

I am glad I found this forum because knowing that others have been through this in some ways helps me get through it too.