Monkee,
I would say that validation is what we all need, but sympathy, as explained to me by Darling Husband, is the "Oh, poor me!" attitude. My husband gave me an example of a person who used to be friends with us, who constantly talked about how she was not thin enough (at 115 pounds), that she didn't have enough money to take her dying dog in for life-saving surgery (she had plenty of money), how she could not come to parties because she would have allergic reactions to the dust in that house, and how the world had let her down all her life. She never said one positive thing about any circumstance. When she got into a bad situation, she just complained about it, but did nothing to get herself out of that situation.

I used to tell my husband that she would have a tantrum on the floor, crap her pants, then whine about the mess and smell. She constantly wanted sympathy from everyone who would listen to her. She felt like she was waist deep in quicksand. Instead of trying to get herself out, she felt that she had no control over her life, waiting to drown, saying, "Woe is me." This is learned helplessness.

I am just getting to the point where I understand the difference between empathy, sympathy and validation. Until a few days ago, I used empathy and sympathy interchangeably, but this forum has stopped that.

Empathy is positive, and validation is positive, in my mind. I have to remember these definitions and examples so that I don't accidentally say the wrong thing, or get misinterpreted. The idea is that we do have control over our lives.