I agree that the true validation comes from within. But if you don't recognize it as abuse, do you ever get validation - no. I also have gotten my biggest support from my therapist. But when I was in the 'swamp' fighting the alligators (trauma digging) I sometimes wondered if he was being nice, trying to calm me, or saying it for some other reason. It also made me feel profoundly lonely. To only be able to share it with someone I paid to listen. It just felt so pretentious at times.

It is so hard for me to accept affirmations, acceptance, compliments, etc....
When someone does recognize me positively I don't know what to do with it. But at the same time when I do get reassurances I feel bathed in warmth. What a contradiction.

I searched for a support group for years - none existed except for the VA - which I am not. I stumbled onto this forum during a excessive bad time which almost put me in the hospital again (actually I should have) but I hung in there. I just didn't want the disruption in my life and work to add to the smothering issues.

The forum gave me the validation and support I needed simply by reading that others responded similarly to situations. It just gave me the message over and over that I was doing the best I could under the circumstances. It was tough but because of my therapist and the forum I came through. I still feel I'm in pieces but atleast the edges are getting duller rather than sharp.

I admire the forum members who have relationships and a significant other to atleast be there at their side. Someday maybe I'll cross that boundary.