Trent and Sunnydaze and new members, if you stick around you will understand the reasoning that is used here. I didn't understand it at first and I was ready to leave because I found a few things to trigger me right off the bat. Mostly the editors were mean LOL, but I don't feel that way anymore.

When I first joined I was already in a disagreement with an editor. I thought what she said was harsh, and told her and other people that their opinions were mean and hurtful. But that was their opinion of the subject and I respect everyone's opinion. I still think that some of the things that were stated were harsh, but I got over it and moved on into healing here.

After sticking it out I realized that it wasn't personal toward me, it was to challenge me and help me understand a different way of thinking. It made me stronger and able to deal with other issues in my life.

Some of these threads will trigger us and make us wonder if anyone here even likes us at all. I was certain that no one liked me after joining and then immediately arguing with some one over an opinion. (One that is not popular in society) and I thought no one here was going to respond to my posts or help me but I was wrong.

I assure you I like everyone here and I've been triggered a ton of times by posts. That is the point of coming here so that you learn coping skills out in the real world. If we can't tolerate what people do in here how can we expect to cope out in the real world. Not everyone here is going to like you and that should be OK with you because personalities clash and that's the way it is.

This is not a hand holding forum and I'm glad. I thought that was what it was for while I was posting and learning to heal. I found out in time that wasn't the case and it only made me stronger and more able to deal with outside issues that I wasn't dealing with properly.

It is human nature to want to be liked and it's scary joining a forum and worrying about how others will perceive you. But if you can stick it out here eventually you won't care what anyone here thinks of you, and it won't scare you to be put in moderation for a mistake.

Every time I come in here I have to pay attention to what I do because I have ADD. I know I keep making editorial mistakes over and over but if I get put into moderation over one of them, I bet I will remember not to do it again. I'm not certain if what I'm posting here is "off topic" which could get me into moderation. If it does then I will be in moderation and I will realize not to do it again. I will figure this out and keep moving forward.

The point is that hand holding and letting people get away with breaking the rules only leads to the editors having more work in fixing things around here. They don't get paid and do this for free, and my inability to pay attention only frustrates them as it would me if I was an editor.

First read the editorial policy and try to understand it the best you can. I'm not perfect and don't catch things until I screw up 3 or 4 times (But I'm not going to beat myself up over it or be afraid of moderation either). So face the fear of making mistakes here and the possibility of being placed in moderation, and you will learn and only be stronger for it later.

This is how I perceive things to be here, and I hope it helped clarify some issues for new members.

Tammy