emylou i would just like to congratulate u on looking for help. I have found that looking for information and support online has really helped me... If nothing else, at least I feel like I'm doing something to help.

I would recommend that you go to counselling together. Maybe you could even speak to the counsellor by yourself, and find out what is acceptable or expected from your husband. Sometimes putting an objective person in between who truly understands this illness can help the two of you to share your point of view without him storming off, and maybe help him understand the pressures he is putting on you. Perhaps the psychologist could have some suggestions for encouraging your husband to get help.

I understand what it is like to feel that you have to do everything in the household. I am currently the housewife and the main breadwinner, and its certainly not easy. But my partner is always gracious and grateful, and tries hard to do what he can, and control his stress/anger about the things that I have just not been able to get to yet. For example, he enjoys cooking roasts (because they are simple!), so about once a week he cooks us a roast, which normally lasts us for 2 nights. Its just nice for me to have a small break from cooking.

Having said that, I get resentful when I'm cleaning and he is playing his computer (that is his stress relief). So I have decided that this week I am going to do the cleaning when he is not here. I must say though, this week has been quite hard as I am on holidays and trying to relax myself.

I didn't mean to write this much, but I hope it has helped. Well done for trying to do the best by yourself and your husband, you should be proud of your strength