Linasmom:

It is very difficult. I am still working on it and may never totally get there. My perpetrator was emotionally ill and a drug addict. Shortly after violating me, he was sent to a mental hospital for drug rehab and to deal with some of his issues. His parents sent him out of state and claimed he was working at the mental hospital, but that was not true.

I guess it is easy for me to say "he had problems and was not aware of what he was doing." I still get angry. I don't want to forgive him or understand him because he asks...he never has. I want to forgive for my own sake so I can let him out of my psyche. When he enters in; I can say "Cecilia, you have forgiven and let go of this issue."

Like I said, I am not there yet and definitely no expert on the matter, but I know that self-talk has helped a little in the past.

It may be totally different for you. Everyone is different with different experiences so I definitely would not hold anyone to my idea or judge them for rejecting it.

I'm just going on my experience.