No. I cannot "pardon" my perps behavior. There is never an excuse for abuse. I can never say what he did was fine. Even if he was mentally ill and a druggy, he was an adult and should have sought help. That was his responsibility and I will not let him off the hook for that.

I am just trying to cease to feel anger and resentment towards him to help myself. It is actually a selfish act of forgiveness. Not good-will towards the perp, but good-will towards myself so I feel better.