That is great that you have saved yourself Bec. I am also not saying that you need to change the rescue fantasy either as I am sure a lot of women grew up with the "Snow White" or "Cinderalla" idea. My heart would melt if a knight in shining armour turned up on his white horse to rescue me . If only!

What I was trying to say was if you wanted to stop being "rescued" well then you would need to work out why it was you felt you wanted to be "rescued" in the first instance.

Just quickly and a little off topic but relevant - by acceptance I mean believing what happened to you, that it was real, and by not trying to put it out of your mind trying to think it did not happen. I would never suggest that an abuser should be forgiven for their sake, I mean finding forgiveness in your heart so you can let go of it for yourself. Unfortunately some abusers would not have given those they have abused a second thought and have no idea or consideration for the pain they have inflicted on your life. Forgiveness to allow your self to move on past something can be very lifting. Eg My mum didn't do the right thing by me when I was young but I have come to the acceptance over the years that she did not know any better. I forgive her for not knowing any better; I still do not believe what she did was right. It does not take away the hurt and baggage which came out of the situation however I no longer invest my energy in her and instead I am trying to "fix" what damage had been done as best as possible. I guess in Bec's terms, that is saving myself !