Bec, Claire - I like blunt. Please do not spare my feelings, seriously just give it to me between the eyes, I think I need it. I think I've reached that point. I've had enough.

If my feelings get hurt then refer back to this post, I will tell you if it's enough.

I really need to spend some time thinking about your questions Bec. But to answer one question - I've been in therapy for two years.

What am I avoiding what is stopping me?

I don't believe that I was sexually abused by my uncle. Whilst I do have thoughts of what I think happened it does not feel like a real memory. I still can't grasp that it may have happened. I think it's possible it didn't happen, yet not sure what other explanation there is for these thoughts that something did happen. Is this denial or logic? I don't have a proper memory of this. I've avoided asking my mum & dad if they think this is possible because I don't want them to think I've lost the plot mentally, or for them to deny it or for my mum to have a nervous breakdown.

I feel like a fraud. I don't feel I'm really a trauma victim.

I know the stuff with my ex boss happened, as it was it documented, yet still I think I misunderstood, I was never in any real danger, sure thought he was going to rape me but the reality is he didn't. I guess I'm thinking get over it.

I feel like all this therapy and trauma stuff is a big pity party and part of me is disgusted with myself. The other part quite frankly enjoys the attention & empathy my therapist gives me.