Ahh, yes I relate to that one. Feeling like a fraud, well said. I still struggle with this on and off. Some days I think to myself, jeez just pull your socks up lady and stop whining. Then I get smacked between the eyes with some nasty symptoms and that shuts it up pretty fast.

Have you addressed this feeling in counseling? Found ways to combat it? This is a form of conditioning we learn from secondary wounding. Just get over it.

When I get like this, I force myself to look at the big picture, not the trauma. I go through what symptoms I have, how severe they are, how stable I am, how am I functioning. Then I ask myself if that is worthy of help. Of course it is. No one wants to live like this. Perhaps try that for the short term?

I don't find that my therapy gives me attention (and frankly I haven't noticed too much empathy.. just enough that I'm willing to share with her.) I instead work on coping techniques and which ones to try or change, which ones are working. It's very focused. Really it sounds like a big part of your disgust with the therapy is the lack of direction. Sounds like now is a good time for you to start pushing!

As for the fearing to get raped, how can you say that isn't traumatic? It sure as hell is. Thinking someone is going to do something terrible to you can be just as bad as something terrible being done to you. And you know what? Your symptoms prove that.

bec