Thank you Nicolette for starting this thread. Tuesday is the first anniversary of our sons untimely death. Most important to tell those you love how you feel when they are present. Not have regrets later on. Much appreciate also Nicolette and Tammy for asking after my wife Kathy and daughter Evie (batgirl). Said this in Evies diary and will copy here: Evie has grown past the stage of needing the forum. Into the management stage, dealt with her trauma, mostly good days now. Fact of life: people change and move forward. My daughter certainly has. Thats progress. The wife and I are encouraging her to spend her time more productively. It is a myth that one must stick around here and help others once one is better themselves. Not everyone is cut out to be a hands on helper upon this forum. Evie certainly is not. Gets far too wrapped up in others issues - to her own detriment. Time and again this happened to her. So. Best she stay off. She does well on her own now. That is what counts. Herself first. The rest of you need to consider yourselves first as well, BEFORE helping others. Your number one. You count most of all. End of lecture. ;-) Jim.