Yeah, I have heard that too, that so and so has had a harder life than you ever did, and he / she seems fine, so why can't you stop whining.

What that speaker does not know is the truth under so and so's smiling exterior!

I have also had people who don't know the whole truth about me, tell me that they are surprised to learn that I have depression, PTSD and am on an antidepressant. I seem to them to be a fraud because they don't see me on my bad days when I don't leave the house. They are casual friends who don't see me unless I have the energy to leave the house and put on that "normal" exterior to blend in with the crowd.

These are the same people who don't see what's covered by my clothes and say, "You don't look disabled." What am I supposed to do with that comment? My best response has been, "Funny, you looked like you had manners a minute ago."

It's easy for people who don't know the real you to make an off the cuff comparison between you with someone else, especially when that speaker has no idea what your life, nor that of the person you are being compared to, is like! In my opinion, that speaker's comparison is worthless.

Almost everyone wants to "fit in" and be "normal" and accepted, so we smile when we are in pain, and on bad days, we stay home. We don't want to be the subject of gossip, or have to deal with thoughtless comments.