I use to believe as you pointed out - they will lock me up ....

Whether true or not, the point is everyones concern to keep us safe. A lot of times when we are thinking suicide it is without intent. Instead it is our thoughts of hopelessness. When we are in this state we are not thinking clearly and it is important for us to hear the rational presentation by our therapist to challenge our own distorted beliefs at that time. It is important to also put your therapist on "alert" to recieve phone calls and possibly increased frequency of appointments to get through the tough spot. If you are honest with your therapist the situation should remain in your control.

When I reached the critical stage, twice, I finally admitted over the phone to my therapist, I had had it. I drove myself to the ER and self admitted. The last time - I went to the ER by ambulance. Enough said. I did learn from that experience to open up when I am desperate and hopeless, to vent my anger at myself. I also learned what behaviors support these feelings when I am at the end of my rope and have learned to avoid them when I'm at that point.

Be honest and open about your suicide scale - because it does make a difference with therapuetic strategies and their outcomes. You can always cut a bargain or make a deal if it's in the open. Have someone stay with you a few days, check in calls, etc...