Yesterday, when he was calmer, I told him that I love him, but violence is completely unacceptable, and I will not tolerate that in my life. I believe ... hope ... that I have defined a clear boundary. Sometimes what seems completely clear to me seems less so to him. But I think I've gotten the message through.

When he did what he did, I think he may have expected a different reaction from me - I don't think he was expecting me to be squaring off to fight him if I had to. Oddly, he expressed hurt that I actually told him to go home to his mom when he threatened to do so.

I think you all are correct, that one must not allow such things. I certainly reacted strongly to it, and not in a way that would make him feel good, or empowered, or wanting to do it again. At least, I am hoping that there was no brain chemistry "reward" that he got out of that exchange.

If there is a next time, I'll be leaving for a few days at minimum.

Cowgirl