Thank you both for your observations and support it means a lot to me!

It certainly is a long old road to healing, but I believe that every breakthrough is all part of joining up all of the confused thinking that has stemmed from my trauma. Being honest with myself is the first step, as it is for all of us. The next step is coming to terms with the consequences of my actions, and then learning the lessons from them.

I feel sad that I have thrown away so much. However, I know that after the sadness fades I will have lots more opportunities in life to practice my new skills on :-)

I guess I had to take the risk to love him as I did otherwise I may not have learned this bittersweet lesson. I need to cherish me first so that I can cherish all of the other wonderful people that are in my life and will come into my life - just gotta put these words into practice now (hold on tight)...

I have to start believing I am worthy of being loved! I have to stop being afraid to take the risk of loving someone. I have to stop protecting myself to the point that I allow no one in - we all do!

Spirit x