Hey graebrahm I feel for you and your horrible loss. You are headed in the right direction seeking help to talk about your issues. Just know that many of us here suffer from horrible happenings in our lives and with that we can help one another. Dont rule out meds, counceling, and support groups. It takes alot to live a "normal" life after events that turn your world upside down. Just know that we care.
Kel