Hey Sisu,

of course you have not over stepped the mark. I am happy to answer your questions......

Trusting of his love

Simple answer, NO!
I guess now in hindsight there could have been practical things that we could of done together after I was diagnosed. We could of researched PTSD together and embraced my journey. These strategies may have helped us both understand what to expect. Additionally, it may have referenced some of my reactions and behaviour's towards him. That may of made my behaviours feel less personal to him, less of a reaction to him as a person, and more about where I was coming from.

I guess it was always up to me to be more trusting of his love - I could not! I was not ready! I did not know that I did not trust him. I believed my feelings and reactions were correct. I distrusted his love because of my preoccupation with protecting myself - that includes protecting myself from assumptions that I made rather than hard facts. The what 'if' scenarios.

Worhty

Another big fat no! Again this was and is still up to me. How can you instil self-esteem in someone who believes that they are unworthy of anything good? I did not love me so I was never going to be able to accept his love - I would instead be suspicious of it.

Faciltate

Your questions obviously depend on where the person is in their healing? I was not ready at the time, and we did not make it to where I am now because I ended it. He grieved and has now moved on (well he says he has not actually moved on, but he is continuing to live his life). Too much damage was done and being together now is not an option. I have too much healing to do! Who knows what the future holds, but for now, in the here and now I realise that it would complicate things. I am still not ready even though I desperately want to be. Now he says he can offer me all of the things he felt he could not when we were together.

So all in all it depends on the individual who is healing, what they are healing from, how much PTSD has affected them and where they are in the healing process?

I would love to say yes to both of your questions, and I wish that being loved where as simple as receiving someone's love and accepting it for what it is. Unfortunately, I believe that being ready for love means that you have to at least feel that for yourself, and until the route cause(s) of your trauma(s) have been exposed and thrashed around until they have less weighting on your life that love is hard to let in. Not for everyone, but at least me!

When I first came on here I wanted to find the same answers you are looking for. I wanted to believe that love would conquer all. And you know what? It will one day when I have learned to like and love me. Then there will be no stopping me and I will love and be loved like I have never before!!!!

Spirit xxx